I woke up this Saturday to find the weather is phenomenal. It’s overcast with a pleasantly cool breeze. The sunshine in the window is literally calling me outside. It’s a great day for a bike ride! I’ll be meeting some great company for lunch, and I’m really feeling this new album I bought. And I mean really feeling it. There’s a whole new world on the inside of my head going on.
Today is going to be awesome! There’s so much to do and so little time, but it doesn’t matter! It’s time to start doing things!
I’m a kite, and today is really, really windy.
I’ll be riding my bike and chasing endorphins — the happy chemical! I’ll have enjoyable company, healthy food, great happy music, and no responsibilities to make me worry. Operation live life is a go! It’s not something you plan like a camping trip, but more like an opportunity such as flying a kite on a windy day. I’m a kite, and today is really, really windy.
I grab a mouthful of peanuts and swallow them down. Taking my morning vitamins, and then I smile at a few of my plants because I can feel them thinking about me. They don’t have lips, but I know they’re smiling at me.
And then I’m off to do things — it doesn’t matter what, I’m just going! I can bike all day without slowing down because I’m absorbing energy from my surroundings and that energy is infinite.
I’m in the moment and soak in everything around me — and everything is so enjoyable and euphoric! The cool breeze on my bike ride. It’s amazing to see the friends I met up with! I’m just so happy to see them and their energy multiplies my mood a thousand fold.
Music is like explosions of light.
The world around me is different. I see it in a new light. Like I’ve put on special glasses that allow me to see behind the curtain, the spirit realm holding everything together. Every little is so much more exciting! My soul is melding with the souls of my friends, strangers, plants, and animals. I’m connected to all of them. Music is like explosions of light. I can look at a painting and be transported inside of it and see a piece of the artist’s soul.
My Emotional Compass
I’m just overwhelmingly happy and love my friends. I want everyone to be this happy.
Things that would normally annoy or enrage me are just nonexistent. Road rage? Gone. Headphones are twisted? That’s a calm 3 minutes of untangling them with a smile on my face. I finally understand bird watching. Anxiety melts away completely. I can almost feel the empty space it leaves behind. There’s only one thing I want in the world right now — and it’s for everyone to experience this bliss I’m feeling. I want everyone to be happy.
A friend is depressed about something and wants to talk to me? No problem. It doesn’t get me down. I just try to transfer some of my happiness to her.
I’m cooking dinner and I catch myself smiling, even a little giggly. I stop and just enjoy the euphoria I’m experiencing. I’m not dopy or impaired. I’m just… happy as a kite.
I also get what I can only describe as super-empathy. I can feel what people are feeling, and I better understand their motives and reasons for their actions. I feel very close to everyone; my sympathy and interconnectedness is through the roof. People, animals, plants, we’re all connected.
Introspection
It isn’t all good though. My mind moving so fast with all of this energy, if I stop for a moment I start to get introspective and it can be very anxiety inducing. The energy has to go somewhere, and I always try to steer it towards the positive. I normally don’t have much trouble with that, but when things to bad, I start to see all of the crap we ignore on a daily basis. Much like the spiritual realm I seem to see when I have this energy, I also have the potential to go in the other direction, where I’m a cold, calculating machine, seeing nothing but a nihilistic universe with a bunch of conscious, dying people on their way to oblivion — and with my level of energy this thought is inescapable once I’ve fallen into it. In times like these I try to remind myself of my meaning in life.
I watched a Ted Talk one time where a man is saying you can find your life purpose in 5 minutes. He just says to think about what you do for people, and how it helps them. Well I’ve always thought of myself as kind of a healer. I think it’s run in my family since my grandmother has always put the idea in my head. I try to be kind for kindness sake. Does that make me a shaman at heart?
Today is March 20. The beginning of spring and my favorite day. I always feel a burst of energy in spring and an unbelievable euphoria and spiritual awakening.
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